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The Emotionally Abusive President

Watching the Matt Lauer interview with George W. today a number of things immediately came to mind. The first of which, dealing with the specific circumstance is, we are not to take the lead from either of these people. Matt Lauer was asking only one notch above mild provocations, which seems like a big deal in a climate of fear, but gets nowhere close to the real humanity issues. Lauer in his manner and body language is clearly serving himself at George’s expense if he is pushing for any information at all.

Even more revealing was W.’s body language, and energy inclinations when asked anything even slightly oppositional to him. It was clearly aggressive. Like he wanted to make Matt pay, but since they were on camera, we all know he can’t do what he’d really like to do. All of his herky jerky motions and uncomfortable posturing demonstrate this again and again. The only reason we aren’t more shocked by it, is because uncomfortable pauses, moments of weirdness, and steering everything back to 2 or 3 catch-all phrases has become his style by default. Somehow people had to learn to comprehend what they were seeing.

Imagine if someone took what was happening in the moment on directly. “Mr. President, why is your head always ****ed awkwardly to one side?” “Sir, Why do you smile when you talk about things that are horrible?” You can see most people won’t even challenge the smallest of his assertions. Why? Because of FEAR. In other words, W. is a controlling personality who is abusing not just his own family, but the whole country.

It works the same on the macro that it does on the micro. If you can’t even voice your true feelings for fear of some kind of governmental reprisal, it is abuse just as much as if you are a wife or child afraid to confront an alcoholic father who terrorizes you every day. The victim in either case is traumatized and weakened by the situation. They may even develop Stockholm Syndrome - identification with a captor. Their whole life gets filled with the abuse and they forget that there is anything else. If it is removed they may even seek more of it (and there will always be someone there to provide it).

Other symptoms are clear to observe as well. There is plenty of ‘scapegoating’. In other words if somebody speaks the truth, you blame them and accuse them of what you are in fact doing. ‘Denial’ – incessant repeating of the well-worn grooves in the mind of the individual perpetrating the harm instead of acknowledgement of obvious reality. ‘Bursts of Violence’ – need we talk about the horrible obviousness of this? ‘Tries to Lower Your Self Esteem’ - We have all seen him try to humiliate reporters at news conferences with insults and childish nicknames. Just like in a cult, if an outsider were to come in and tell the truth to one of the believers, the believers might just gang up on the outsider rather than see that the outsider was sincerely trying to help. They emulate the original abuser because of their own low self-esteem and sense of powerlessness. This is how abuse spreads.

Deep understanding must be made available and the tools for each individual to sort out the madness should be afforded in plenty. There is a dangerous evolutionary curve that we have to ride through before the road straightens out and we can launch into blissful cruise control. Our own fears will take form in the outside world as long as we have them. Remove the need inside for a George W., and he will disappear from your lives. Feel strong enough to find your own answers and make your own choices. Don’t let anyone do your thinking for you! It is one of the honors of living, to take responsibility for yourself and cultivate a rich harvest which you can enjoy and share.



-C. Moors 

10/11/2005

cmoors@creativecosmos.org